How to balance emotionally intelligent behaviours
Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in how we manage behaviour, navigate social situations, and make decisions. The EQ-i 2.0 is one of the most widely used tools to assess and develop emotional intelligence, breaking it down into 15 interconnected subscales.
According to the EQ-i 2.0, an ‘imbalance’ occurs when one subscale, or skill, is used significantly more than another. While certain subscales may seem at odds with each other, finding the balance between them can unlock new levels of personal and professional development.
In this blog, we will explore examples of how seemingly opposing subscales can be balanced to enhance your emotional and social functioning.
Empathy and Assertiveness
It’s not uncommon for individuals to struggle with balancing empathy and assertiveness. Often, people with higher levels of empathy may place too much of a focus on the feelings of others at the expense of putting forward their own views. Alternatively, those with higher levels of assertiveness may come across as intolerant, aggressive, or stubborn when standing up for their thoughts and beliefs.
How to Achieve Balance
While these subscales may seem opposed, finding a balance allows individuals to communicate their needs effectively whilst recognising and considering the emotions of others. This leads to better conflict resolution and healthier relationships. An individual with higher levels of empathy can use their understanding of others’ emotions to ensure their opinions are put forward in a way best received by others. Whereas someone with higher levels of assertiveness can use this confidence in asserting their views to encourage others to share and do the same, showing an equal willingness to listen and collaborate.
Impulse Control and Flexibility
Impulse control refers to delaying or resisting urges to act in emotionally charged situations, while flexibility involves adapting to new circumstances and being open to change. Higher levels of impulse control without flexibility may lead to rigid behaviour, whereas higher levels of flexibility without impulse control can result in hasty changes and decisions.
How to Achieve Balance
Balancing these two subscales helps individuals implement carefully considered changes, and increases their likelihood of remaining calm and composed in rapidly shifting environments. An individual with greater levels of impulse control can use their tendency to think things through to ensure they do not dismiss a change or new idea, before fully considering its potential benefits. Whereas someone who is more flexible can leverage this openness to change and explore multiple options or new ideas before reaching a decision.
Emotional Self-Awareness and Emotional Expression
Emotional self-awareness and emotional expression are two crucial components of emotional intelligence. When out of balance, someone who is emotionally self-aware but rarely expresses their emotions may possess a deep understanding of their internal selves, but struggles to express this to those around them, leading to miscommunication or internal frustration. Conversely, someone who feels comfortable expressing their emotions but lacks emotional self-awareness may find that what they are expressing does not align with how they truly feel. They may also be unaware of how this impacts the people around them, leaving others confused or disconnected.
How to Achieve Balance
Achieving a balance between emotional self-awareness and emotional expression allows individuals to understand the emotions they are experiencing, and articulate them effectively, putting them in a better position to navigate social interactions. An individual who is more emotionally self-aware can use this internal insight to identify emotions during their daily interactions and practice expressing these feelings in less formal settings. Whereas someone who is more emotionally expressive could use their comfort in sharing with others to ask for feedback from trusted peers about how their emotions are impacting them.
Emotional intelligence is not about excelling in one area while ignoring the rest - it is about finding a healthy balance and leveraging existing skills to develop any underutilised areas.
This builds your overall skillset and helps you adopt a well-rounded, emotionally intelligent approach in your work.
If you are interested in the topics raised here, you can find further information about emotional intelligence and the EQ-i 2.0 & EQ 360 on our website.
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